6:30am – I’m pretty sure Mummy has had enough sleep, she probably went to bed when I did so surely she’s awake now. Let me shout her so we can get up. “MUMMY”. Why isn’t she here? I’ll shout louder, she probably didn’t hear me “MUMMMMMMMMMY MUMMMMMMMMMY MUMMMMMMMMY”. Oh here she is. Wow she looks rough. Thank god for make up hey Mum.
7:30am – Breakfast time! What do we have today, oh weetabix, ok I like weetabix. Mummy’s in the kitchen putting her make up on and I’m big enough to feed myself but look what happens when I flick my spoon with weetabix on, wow that is aMAZing. Let me do it again. Mummy’s just walked back in. Oh that’s not her happy face. What is dog diarrhoea and why is Mummy saying my weetabix looks like it? I think it looks pretty all over the sofa and floor, wow she’s so ungrateful sometimes.
8am – Mummy says it’s time to get dressed but I’m having too much fun playing and my pyjamas are doing the job just fine. I’m going to run away from her. She’s smiling so she must be happy. This is fun, I’m going to keep running away. Ha Ha try and catch me Mummy! She’s trying to get my top over my head. If I wriggle around she won’t be able to get it on ha! Oh she’s got me clamped between her legs, now I can’t get away. Yeah this part isn’t fun. I’m going to make her fully aware that I’m not happy. Nappy time. I don’t like having my nappy changed but I’ll compromise and I’ll lie on the sofa. I’m going to show my Mummy how high I can kick my legs, she’ll be really impressed. Oh she doesn’t seem too impressed. Now she’s picked up a pair of shoes that I don’t want to wear. What’s wrong with my sparkly boots?! Everyone loves them so I think I should wear them. She’s put them back, she must not have understood me. I’ll go and get them again. Wait, she’s put them back again. Mummmmmmmy! Fine I just won’t wear any shoes then, see how she likes that!
8:30am – Nursery time! I have so much fun at nursery. All my friends are here and they’re so happy to see me. There’s painting, sandpits, dolls, toys. We bake cakes and sing songs and read books. I love coming here. I don’t cry when Mummy leaves me here because I know she’ll be back to get me later.
5:30pm – Mummy’s here! I’m so happy to see her but it also means I’ve got to leave all this fun behind. Plus I’ve been showing everyone all day how happy I am and I’ve been so busy I’m actually really tired now I think about it. I might have a bit of a cry when we get home. I can do that in front of my Mummy, she understands.
6pm – My doll had just fallen on the floor and she might have hurt herself! I don’t think anyone should touch her until we know if she’s ok. It’s so upsetting! And it reminds me of falling over at nursery today and I hurt myself. Now I’m even more upset. Why can’t Mummy understand why I’m crying?!
6:15pm – Time for my bath. I love having a bath, and Mummy loves it when I splash water at her. I play a game where I throw all my toys out of the bath as far as I can and Mummy has to pick them all up and put them back in. And it’s so much fun filling my cup with water and pouring it over the side. Mummy tells me to stop but I’m sure she’s just joking.
6:45pm – Bedtime. One of my favourite parts of the…hold on is this woman having a laugh? I don’t want to wear those pyjamas, surely she knows I want the yellow stripy ones with the giraffe on. I’ll just scream a bit and she’ll understand. Why is she telling me she doesn’t understand what I want? Obviously not those pyjamas, can’t you tell by the tears streaming down my face?! Right she’s put the pyjamas down, she understands. Nope she’s picked them back up again. Oh my god I’m losing the will to live. AAAAAAHHHHHHH I DO NOT WANT TO WEAR THOSE PYJAMAS! Ok she’s putting them back in the drawer. Yes! She’s got the yellow stripy ones out. “Do you want to wear these ones?” she asks me…… Is that not what I’ve been saying since the start? Anyway, bottle and story time. Wait what is this. Hold on, I’m about to go crazy here. My milk is too cold. Can this woman do nothing right?! This calls for a back arch, belly flop tantrum. She’ll understand then. Ok that worked, she’s warmed it up now. I’ll have to use that one again.
10:30pm – What’s that noise? Oh look Mummy’s come in to check on me. Let me get up and have a cuddle. Surely she’ll want a cuddle too. She’s always giving me kisses and cuddles so she’ll definitely want one now. Why is she standing like a statue in the dark? She’s even holding her breath. Stupid woman, doesn’t she realise I know she’s there? Now why is she crawling along the floor to the door? I might be two but I’m not stupid.
2am – My dummy has come out. I repeat MY DUMMY HAS COME OUT! Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod this is a disaster. MUMMMMYYY! She’s out of bed, I can hear her. Oh wait, here it is, panic over. Don’t worry Mum, you get yourself back to bed, nothing to see here.
6:30am – MUMMMMMMMMY